


Not my first God

by Imtrouble



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 03:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19264987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imtrouble/pseuds/Imtrouble
Summary: Hermione needs a vacation from the chaos that has taken over her department, Care and Keeping of Magical Creatures. Somewhere warm and quiet. Somewhere where no one knows who she is or what she does. Somewhere with NO magical creatures. Too bad her partner picks up the wrong Portkey.





	Not my first God

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Squarepeg72](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squarepeg72/gifts).



“We can’t go on holiday! I mean, you’re safe here! We can’t jeopardise it all for a week in the sun, Loki!”

“It’s not just for a week in the sun, Hermione. You can’t keep working at this rate. Seriously, yesterday you came home with half your hair singed away!”

“It’s Hagrid! As much as I love him, he has no control! We had five baby dragons! I mean, who on earth signed that off, I don't know! Then we have Dean Thomas, who doesn’t know his Nifflers from his Jarveys! Instead of having a Jarvey to converse with, I spent the afternoon, chasing Nifflers around and wrenching my engagement ring back from the baby! I…”

“Hermione, you need a break!” 

“I…”

“No, I'm putting my foot down on this. Arrange a Portkey and I’ll pick up it, and you, tonight! I mean it! Wherever you want to go, your choice.”

“But Loki… what about....”

“If it happens, it happens, and we will deal with it. This is a half life, Hermione. I want to give you the world and right now… well, this is not the world. Now go… do as you're told!” 

She laughed at that. “You may be a God, my love, but I will never obey you.”

He smirked. “Not what you said last night!”

Her laughter followed him out of the room. 

\----

“This is not Italy! What happened?” she asked, looking around at the trees that surrounded them.

“I don’t know? I picked up the Portkey you said in your text; the hat, right?”

“No, it was meant to say bat! Oh god, predictive text is a nightmare,” she said wiping her brow from the intense heat.

“Technology will always be the best and worst thing ever invented.” He sighed, looking out at the rainforest that spread out for miles before them.

“Where are we?” she asked worriedly.

“Err… I think Costa Rica,” he responded, reaching for her hand.

“How do you even know that?” Her voice raised above the noise that surrounded them.

“Best not to ask, my love.” He smirked down at her. 

"This is not what I had in mind when you said relaxation," she groaned. Magical animals roamed the forest and the noise levels were loud.

“Just pretend you can’t see any of them…” he said.

“Or hear them?” She smiled.

“Yes, or that. Come on, let's see if we can stay in one of those chalets across the way there?”

She shook her head in mock despair once more, before taking his outstretched hand and following him.

\----

“See, this isn’t so bad is it?” He was sitting on the balcony of their chalet, which was in the middle of nowhere. The midday sun shone through the trees of the forest. 

“It’s not exactly quiet!” she declared, looking out over the veranda into the expansive forest that lay around them.

The noises of the forest were indeed anything but quiet.

“Well, maybe not, but I'm sure we will get used to it, my love. Failing that... Well, you are a witch…. Silencing charm?" He took her hand and pulled her into his lap. "It’s different, its a vacation. I’m sure we can get you to relax and enjoy yourself.”

“Oh really? So sure of yourself!”

“I have a lot of self belief.”

She laughed, turning to him. “Arrogance is the term you are looking for. Especially if you think this," she gestured around them, "is ever going to be relaxing!”

He leaned in, kissing her softly. She kissed him back, shifting around so she was straddling him.

Breaking away from her, he smiled. “See I can feel you relaxing already!”

She swotted him. “Shut up and keep kissing me!”

He did as she asked, and soon he had divested her of her tank top and she had undone his trousers and released his straining cock. 

He groaned as she moved off of him, but soon his groan was replaced with moans as she took his length into her mouth. 

“Oh yes… Hermione.”

He vanished their clothes and his hands found her breasts.

“Loki…” she moaned around his cock. 

Suddenly howls filled the air. Both of them sprang apart and, turning to face the forest, found themselves surrounded by a dozen howler monkeys.

“What the…”

“Loki," she screamed, as one of the monkeys launched itself at him, but before she could do anything two were leaping through the air towards her!

"Cover your ears!” she cried.

Howler monkeys were prone to attacking with their howls. It deafened their prey long enough to distract before making their physical attack.

This is not how I planned to spend my vacation, she thought, shutting her eyes and waiting for the attack to come.

Flashes of light lit up her eyelids, but the impact never came. She dared to open her eyes and uncovered her ears. 

Stood on the steps of the chalet was a blond man. He was, without doubt, a god. 

She looked around and the monkeys were either dead or fleeing the scene. 

“Well, Loki? Aren’t you going to introduce me to your beautiful friend?” the godlike man said.

“Ahh, yes… well Hermione, love. This is err…”

“Come, brother… ashamed of me?” he moved towards them.

Hermione tried to cover herself, but her bare skin was still on show to the tall, well built stranger.

“Hermione, this is Thor, whose timing, as ever, is shocking.”

“Thor?” She turned, grabbing the clothes she had worn moments before. His modesty was not covered and he seemed unbothered. 

“Little brother, I don’t know how you thought you could escape me for so long.”

Loki shifted and stood up, his naked body glistened with a sheen of sweat. He seemed not to care that his manhood was standing to attention, rather magnificently, in front of Thor. “And yet it's been what? Three years? I’d have thought you would have become bored.”

“You will pay for what you did, Loki. It's time to return home.”

“Now, now, I think the Avengers did far more damage overall than I did to one city.” 

Thor was about to retaliate but before he could, Hermione interrupted him. “Excuse me, but who the hell you think you are? I mean, thank you for saving us just now. I totally froze... Gah, monkeys, they freak me out! But what do you mean you’re taking Loki home?” 

“I am Thor, God of Thunder, of Asgard. Loki here is my brother-"

"Adopted," Loki added smoothly.

"God of Mischief, but I suspect he hasn’t told you that. He has a habit of forgetting important things.”

“Hermione knows everything,” Loki said quietly. 

Thor laughed, “I doubt it. I mean, none of it happened in this reality, did it? You’ve been hard to find. Even for Heimdell. "In fact, it wasn't until today that he saw you for the first time in two years.”

“I told you we shouldn't have come.” Hermione spoke quietly, a sadness in her voice. 

“You needed this, my love! And, well, I can’t hide forever.”

Moments later he was fully dressed. His normal clothes remained on the floor, however. It had been some time since he had worn his Asgardian garb. 

“You’ve lost your arrogance, brother.” 

Loki smirked. “Love tends to do that to you. I will not endanger Hermione any further. We’ve had a good shot at this, but we both knew it couldn’t last." He wasn’t looking at Thor as he had said this, and he looked away only when he saw the tears form in Hermione's eyes. "Let's get this over with, brother." He moved towards Thor.

“This is a change for the books, Loki.”

“People change. She knows everything and she knew this might happen.”

“I didn’t think you would surrender so easily Okay well… let's go." He took hold of Loki’s arm and raised his hammer. “Heim…”

“Wait!" Hermione cried. "Thor, please, this might be our last night together... Maybe… maybe you could join us? I’ve always wondered what it would be like with two guys, and well… this would be two gods. I saw your face earlier, it looked like you were interested.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Loki spluttered, shocked. 

A smirk came over Thor’s face. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time would it, brother?” 

“Huh?" Loki grunted as he recovered from Hermione’s suggestion. "We’ve never shared a woman, Thor, what are you talking about?”

“Well, okay, maybe not at the same time, but I know we have bedded the same ladies in our youth. I’m game, if you are.” 

“Father always used to tell us to share our things,” Loki mused, as he watched Hermione drop her clothes once more, her pale skin in contrast to the tanned man she stalked over to.  
"I’m not sure this is what he had in mind though.” 

He had never thought that his brother could ever be anyone's prey, but right now he was certainly Hermione's. He helped out by vanishing Thor’s clothing as well as his own.

“You’re welcome,” he smirked. 

\----

Hermione was in heaven.

She swore nothing could feel better than the two gods who were currently fighting over who could touch and kiss the most of her. Loki’s fingers were toying with her clit, whilst Thor’s mouth concentrated on alternating between her nipples, biting and sucking his way between them. She sat in Loki’s lap, his cock twitching against her back. Her hands were lost in the thick waves of blond hair Thor possessed. 

Suddenly a breeze blew across them and a squawk filled the room.

Loki swore as the noise happened again, a sudden flash of light bursting from the rafters of the chalet above them. “It’s a fucking parrot.” He shifted himself so he was stood up and Thor welcomed the change of position, moving his mouth to the crevice between Hermione’s thighs. 

“It’s a psittacine," she moaned, as Thor’s tongue took a swipe across her tender bundle of nerves, "it’s magical.” 

“I don’t care what it is," Loki growled, "how's a man supposed to concentrate with that racket?" It made the noise again, another flash lighting up the room. "Seriously! Monkeys, now parrots!” He stormed from the room, chasing the bird as he went.

“And then there were two…" Thor shifted his body, coming face to face with Hermione as he did so. "You weren’t wrong. When I saw you this afternoon, your mouth wrapped around.. Well… I would be lying if I hadn't wondered what it would feel like.” 

She smirked and pushed him off of her. Standing, she took his hand and led him over to the armchair in the corner of the room. “Sit,” she commanded with a nod.

He did so, and she lowered herself to her knees in front of him. Her hand took hold of his impressive length and she lowered her mouth over him. 

Moments later he was groaning and begging her to stop. “Stop, stop, I’ll come if you carry on! Wow, Hermione, you have a talent.” 

She chuckled. “So I've been told.” Her hand languidly moved up and down his length, keeping him on edge. “So, how did you find Loki?” She lowered her head once more, teasing the tip of his weeping cock. 

“Ahh…. it’s a tracking device. A friend of ours has a tech company. He planted it on Loki, years ago.” 

She enveloped him in her mouth once more until once again he begged her to stop.

“Where is it?” she murmured.

”Loki has a tattoo on his calf. Tony created something so small it sits within that.” 

Her eyes widened and she knew exactly what she needed to find. She stood up abruptly.

“Hey!” Thor cried out, “I know I said stop, but…” 

“Relax!” she said, turning so her back was to him. She lowered herself until she impaled herself upon him with a sigh. 

“I’m sure I shouldn’t have told you that,” he murmured into her neck.

“Maybe not,” she said and she rocked her hips, the movement making them both moan, “but I assume there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

He started moving then, thrusting up into her. “Not… unless… you want… to cut off his leg…” he grunted. 

At that moment Loki stalked back into the room. “Started without me I see!” He tutted. 

Hermione grinned and beckoned, a moan escaping her as Thor thrust particularly hard. Moving across the room to them Loki smiled down at her. “Well, I best get involved.”

He gathered her hair into his hand and guided his cock into her mouth. 

“That’s it, baby, you take the cocks of gods in your stride.”

\-----

They were on the bed, had been for the last hour and Hermione was a mumbling mess. She had fucked both men, had both of them in her mouth, but now found herself between them. 

Loki was behind her and taking her in a way he had never before and Thor was in front, thrusting none too gently into her soaked cunt. Loki was beginning to lose himself, his thrusts becoming more erratic but still trying to contain himself. 

“Gods can last for hours, Hermione,” Thor groaned into her ear. “You’re doing well.” 

“You’re not my first God,” she moaned back as he hit a particularly good spot.

“Touché,” he laughed. 

She felt her orgasm building again; it must have been her fifth of the night, but she didn't think she had any more in her after this. 

Loki came with a roar and she felt his spasms, his breathing ragged as he leaned in against her. Knowing he had come, and where, with the feeling of his brother still fucking her, was enough to send her over the edge and she came with a scream. Her clenching muscles brought Thor with her and another roar followed. 

They collapsed, a mess of legs and arms, onto the bed.

“It’s almost a shame to leave you behind,” Thor said to Hermione, “you are truly glorious.” 

“You don’t have to go…” she mumbled. 

“Yes, we do.” His tone stern even as sleep pulled him under. “Loki needs to pay.”

\-----

Later that night, Loki turned to Hermione, Thor snoring softly on the other side of her.  
“It worked, you little minx,” he whispered.

“Of course it did, it was my idea. Now come on, it's time to get out of here.” 

They moved outside onto the balcony of their chalet. The sun was beginning to rise.

“Wait, how sure are you that we disabled the tracker.”

“As sure as I can be. He told me everything whilst you were evicting the parrots,” she sniggered.

“Do I want to know what you did to him to get that information?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, well, you know when you agreed to let me convert half the house into a library?” 

“Yes?” he said.

She didn’t reply, just smirked. 

His eyes went wide. “Oh… yes. That has a habit of working. I’m pretty sure that also happened the night of Asta’s conception.” 

She laughed quietly. “Loki, you’re free. We’re free. Let’s go home to her and live our lives.”

“I told you, Hermione, I want to give you the world and I meant it. Asta should be waiting for us in Italy, as planned.” 

“What? I thought you picked up the wrong portkey by accident?”

“I was not going to have our daughter in the same place where, one, this could have kicked off and two, her mother was fulfilling a particularly deviant fantasy. You make a lot of noise, woman! She’s with Luna, safe and sound.” 

He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled a tattered bat plushie out. The glint of a ring on his wedding ring finger catching the light. 

“I love you, Loki Odinson.” 

“I love you too, Hermione Odinson.” 

A moment later the sun broke the horizon and the balcony was empty. A howler monkey, sat on the railing and peering inside, was startled by the sudden roar of anger that erupted from the chalet. It screamed back, the rest of the pack nearby joining in. The flock of psittacines started shrieking then, their flashes of light brightening the canopy, until it seemed like the whole rainforest was howling along with Thor.

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt for this challenge was:
> 
> Hermione needs a vacation from the chaos that has taken over her department, Care and Keeping of Magical Creatures. Somewhere warm and quiet. Somewhere where no one knows who she is or what she does. Somewhere with NO magical creatures. Too bad her partner(s) picked up the wrong portkey. The rain forests of Costa Rica are beautiful, but howler monkeys and magical parrots are not the relaxation she needed. Can her partner(s) help her find ways to relax in the noisy jungle?
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this challenge piece! :)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts!


End file.
